We’ve gone from handwritten invitations on personalized stationary to “I’ll have my people call your people so we can do lunch,” to “I’ll have my bot sync with your bot and we can Facetime.”
Emails, and now texting, have replaced real interpersonal communication with what I call bot-speak. For the uninitiated, bots, short for robots, are bits of software that perform automated tasks across the internet, including sending messages meant to sound and act like humans. Bot-speak has warped relationships, particularly among Gen Z, into superficial digital encounters.
A sign of the decline of a great civilization is a breakdown in language leading to a breakdown in meaningful communication leading to miscommunication leading to misunderstanding leading to conflict. The ambiguity of message frequently created by the abbreviated/truncated language of texting has caused countless avoidable arguments, hurt feelings and destroyed relationships.
Texting has become a shield or filter for real communication.
Here’s a typical exchange.
Guy: Wanna get together?
Gal: R u asking me out?
Guy: Y let’s meet at Starbucks
Gal: Dunno, time?
Guy: 10
Gal: 10 mins or 10 o clock?
Guy: 10 o clock
Gal: AM or PM?
Guy: AM
Gal: K.
Guy: look fwd c u there
What’s really going on here is the guy doesn’t have the courage to actually speak to the gal face to face. Texting allows him to be arms-length removed from the interaction and shields him from having to make eye contact or risk bumbling his words when he asks her out. Result? Superficiality: increased depersonalization, reduced interpersonal communication, increased isolation and distance between people.
OMG, what r u talking about?
Aside from depersonalization and isolation, Bot-speak can test intergenerational relationships. One example:
Grandma: How’s that new munchkin of yours doing?
Gen Z Daughter: She’s the bomb
Grandma: I don’t understand. The bomb?
Gen Z Daughter (already impatient): She’s fine grandma.
Grandma: Is she sleeping through the night yet?
Gen Z Daughter: GTG
Grandma: GTG?
Gen Z Daughter: Good to go.
Grandma: Good to go?
Gen Z Daughter (now really impatient): Yes, she’s sleeping through the night.
Grandma: And eating well?
Gen Z Daughter: G2G
Grandma: You mean GTG?
Gen Z Daughter: No, G2G, got to go g-ma (grandma) have doc appt shortly
Grandma: Oh, ok, LOL.
Gen Z Daughter: What’s funny about a doctor’s appointment?
Grandma: I was just wishing you the best. Doesn’t LOL mean Lots of love?
Gen Z Daughter: ROFL No. It means Laughing out Loud.
Grandma: What does ROFL mean?
Gen Z Daughter (now exasperated): Rolling on the floor laughing
Grandma: You or the baby?
Gen Z Daughter: Really G2G g-ma TTYL
Grandma: Let me guess, talk to you later?
Gen Z Daughter: Y XXOO
Grandma: Now XXOO I understand!
Walking down memory lane a bit, I remember when we all were convinced word processing would make us more efficient, save us time, improve productivity. Wrong. The ability to easily correct typographical and grammatical errors caused us to spend inordinate amounts of time re-writing. Spell checkers and grammar checkers often caused confusion rather than correction.
We were also taught that email would improve our lives. Wrong. It allowed us to transfer responsibility for a task to someone else while thinking we’ve “dealt with the problem”. Recycled problems have only made us less efficient.
The result of all this communications technology, including Bot-speak, is sloppy and lazy language, an inability to write coherently, or even SPEAK coherently. Nevertheless, it’s here to stay. I don’t see a return to correct grammar and diction anytime soon. But I’m going to keep trying to help my children and grandchildren actually answer their phones and listen to their voice mail messages, eliminate Bot-speak except for the most informal communication, and banish “like” from their vocabulary unless it’s used as a simile.
My dad used to say, “Engage brain, open mouth, speak.” He constantly warned against both speaking before opening my mouth (i.e. mumbling) or opening my mouth and speaking before engaging my brain. He was also fond of quoting, “It is better to keep silent and be considered a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” Both are wise sayings today.
PS, here’s a dictionary you might find useful, culled from the website of a young girl who, thankfully, is speaking up against Bot-speak to her own generation. I’ve edited the list, including adding some abbreviations I’ve encountered that she hasn’t!
AFK = Away From Keyboard
ASAP = As Soon As Possible
ASL = Age, Sex, Location (also, American Sign Language)
BRB = Be Right Back
FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out
GG = Good Game
GJ = Good Job
GREE = I Agree
GTG = Good To Go
HMU = Hit Me Up
I’d’v’e = I Would Have
JOMO = Joy Of Missing Out
K = Ok
KK = oKay, cool
LMAO = Laughing My A** Off
LOL = Laughing Out Loud
NCD = No Can Do
NP = No Problem
OMG = Oh My God
OTP = One True Pair
ROFL = Rolling On Floor Laughing
TTYL = Talk To You Later
TTYT = Talk To You Tomorrow
TY = Thank You
TYVM = Thank You Very Much
Y = Yes
YW = You’re Welcome
WTG = Way To Go
Common Slang Expressions
A Stan = Stalker or fan
Bomb = Awesome
Bye Felicia = Bye forever (from the film “Friday”)
Ditto = Me too
Dope = Cool
Extra = Trying too hard
High Key = Loud and proud (opposite of low key)
Lit = Cool
Ship = Belong with each other (as in relationship)
Wack = Lame (e.g. a lame excuse)
Woke = A reference to how people should be aware of current affairs
Yass = Yes
