Been to a restaurant lately, where a family sits, a three year old with an iPad in front of her watching some children’s program, the 12 year old, with a tortured look, focused on an iPhone screen furiously tapping away, mom and dad’s phones face-up on the table creating an effect something like holding flashlights underneath our chins?
Regrettably, this scene is ubiquitous. And we wonder why the family is breaking down.
Of all the infections eating away at our society and culture today, the fundamental changes to families is the most virile. Of course Leave it to Beaver, the Donna Read Show, Ozzie and Harriet and all the other television fare that we grew up on couldn’t exist today. It truly was a different time. But in virtually all those shows, it was a given that families were, well, families!
Contrast those shows with what we see on television today. Does anyone honestly believe that what’s happening to traditional families is good for society?
The Left thinks that scene played out in the restaurant represents “progress.”
“Mom can monitor the babysitter, Dad is instantly reachable if something happens that needs his immediate attention either at work or at the club, Sally is occupied, quiet and not running around the restaurant disturbing others,” they will argue. No conversation of any substance. No recounting of what’s going on in each other’s lives. No understanding whatsoever of what’s eating at Johnny, or what Sally’s being fed on that children’s program. Mom and Dad just want to get through dinner so they can get back home to Dancing with the Stars and football.
Is it just me or does anyone else see how sick this is? Here’s a family, ostensibly sharing time together, except they’re not!
What happened to a parent’s responsibility to impart their values to their children? What ARE their values, and what IS being passed down? We know the answers, but should it be this way?
Cut scene. A family is gathered around a dinner table on a Sunday evening. No phones or tablets present, some peaceful music plays in the background. The cacophony and mayhem that prevailed two minutes earlier as each family member fulfilled their pre-dinner chores has given way to a more subdued tone as each takes his or her place at the table.
In some households, grace is said. In others, there’s a pause to raise a glass and give thanks that everyone could be together. In still others there’s simply quiet as napkins are taken off the table and placed on laps, everyone waiting for a signal from mom and dad to begin digging in.
As the meal progresses everyone is asked to report on what has transpired in their lives since they were last gathered like this. Even the monosyllabic teenagers are goaded into uttering a few grunts about what’s going on with their friends and at school. You get the picture.
Which scene is better for society? If you think the former, you’re probably a social justice warrior hell bent on “fundamentally transforming America.” If you think the latter, you’re probably nostalgic for a kinder and gentler time, one where the family was the most important unit of a civilized society, where families had pride in their name, and in their school, and in their community, and in their state, and in their country.
Of course these kinds of families still exist. The problem is that they’re decreasingly prevalent. The norm keeps moving towards the dysfunctional, to the “progressive”, down the slippery slope to necrosis.
How about we spend time with our families around picnic tables, playing soccer or stick ball in the park, fishing together at the local pond. How about moms and dads teaching their children manners, and helping them with their school projects, and paying attention to what they’re being taught and correcting misinformation. And teaching them the difference between right and wrong. And establishing and enforcing rules of behavior, and conduct, and respect.
And how about just having fun together. It’s ok to have a movie night with popcorn and soda, watching Frozen for the umpteenth time, but let’s also find examples of traditional goodness, and greatness to expose ourselves to.
We are what we do. Bury our faces in technology, abrogate our responsibility for raising our families to others and that’s who we are. Gather and recount acts of bravery, or sacrifice, or service, or touching others’ lives in a positive way, supporting one another at little league games, or at school plays, or attending a July 4th celebration together, and that’s who we are.
How we spend time together as families matters.
