Courtesy Matters
It’s tough to be courteous to vile people, and the Left are becoming increasingly, unbearably vile.
Yet, we need to try. If we’re ever going to restore civility and traditionalism to our country, we need to respect what our parents taught us about courteousness.
I have a complete repertoire of lawyer jokes and have more than once repeated the old joke about how 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean is, “A start.” But there’s one thing we can learn from lawyers, particularly trial lawyers. Watch any law-themed series on television or better, attend a jury trial in a real courtroom, and you’ll see the attorneys act (99% of the time) with professionalism and courtesy towards the jury, the plaintiff, the defendant, their counsel and the judge. How they do it in the face of the distortions, spin, deflections, etc. that are thrown around by each side; how they can be civil when the integrity of witnesses, particularly, are impugned so viciously albeit courteously, is extraordinary. The performances may be part of the theatrics of litigation, but they’re instructive nonetheless. Often, the attorney who makes the best impression is the one who wins the case, and courtesy is an integral part of the act and how they make that impression.
Many years ago I was recruited to serve as the CFO of an obscure tech company. Seeking a ground floor opportunity in the post Y2K, burgeoning tech world, I responded to the offer to talk to them. One bright, sunny morning I visited its headquarters in Manhattan and was ushered into a conference room to await the CEO.
As I stood looking out the window over the Manhattan skyline, a young fellow came in and began gathering up some used styrofoam coffee cups and arranging and stacking some coasters that sat on the highly polished conference room table. He had on an open collar, rather wrinkled plaid shirt, jeans, and he had hair down to the middle of his back tightly pulled back on his head and gathered in a pony tail with a rubber band at the nape of his neck.He went about his business sheepishly, almost furtively, without speaking.
Having turned to see who had entered the room, I offered a pleasant “Good Morning” and then proceeded to help him gather up the cups and tidy up the room. He held open the garbage bag while I tossed in some of the debris from an earlier meeting, and he thanked me as he completed his task and left.
The whole incident took no more than perhaps 60 seconds, and I thought nothing of it. A minute or two later the CEO came in, dressed in a suit as was I, and we sat and had a straightforward and frank conversation about the company’s needs, my qualifications, etc. – everything you’d expect from a standard executive interview.
And then the CEO said, “You know, I’d like you to meet the President of the Company who is really my partner and co-founder. Do you have a few more minutes?” I of course replied, “Certainly,” and the CEO left, returning a couple of minutes later with, you guessed it, the man who previously had come in to tidy up the room.
I am convinced to this day that the judgment about hiring me to become the Company’s CFO was made in that two minute interval when the CEO left to fetch the President. And I am also convinced that the pivotal trigger moment which sealed the deal had nothing to do with the interview, but everything to do with the simple courtesy I extended to the President in that little interchange before the interview started.
A wise man was once quoted as saying, “The true greatness of a person, in my view, is evident in the way he or she treats those with whom courtesy and kindness are not required.” Joseph B. Wirthlin
Most of the time, simple courtesies aren’t recompensed with a job offer, or even acknowledged. Yet, a kind word, treating others with respect and dignity no matter what their station or role in life, is the right thing to do.
Courtesy matters.
